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Slow it down, take it in.

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I realized that I need an outlet for my thoughts, ponderings, and frustrations.  I could write them in a journal, but I spent my teen years doing that and it brought back too many angst filled memories. I'm revisiting this blog I started when we moved to our new house as a way for me to share my journey as a woman who is entering the 2nd half of her life.

I turned 41 at the beginning of the year am at the stage in my life that I'm having some "midlife" awakenings, wherein I am coming to the realization of my mortality and the precious nature of life. I may write more about this in a future post, but for now, I am trying to find some ways to expand my world yet still manage my day to day. My life is goes from work-home-bed and I, as many of us do, don't set time aside to slow down and take time for myself.  I want to revisit some things I have done over the past 40 years and try to include the things that I think will help me recenter myself, making me more focused and giving me fulfillment.

Things I'm interested in revisiting:

1) Painting
I used to take art classes in my twenties, which feels like yesterday but is also 20 years ago.  One of my goals is to join an art class this fall through the continuing ed program in the local school district.  It's affordable and right next to my house. Hopefully this will help me gain the confidence to paint on my own outside of a classroom.

2) Yoga
I took yoga on and off for years. As I started working I realized I needed more intense exercise and started doing Boot camp.  Now, being a working parent, I'm realizing I need something to help me slow down and center myself.

3) Reading
This one I've done a pretty good job at.  I finished 4 novels this summer.  I have been trying to squeeze in reading when C is playing, this way he sees me doing something not on a device.

What's most important is that I  putting the phone/iPad away.  I find myself tired a lot and scrolling through posts, looking at pictures is a way to distract myself from the goings on in life. What I have found is that I'm not getting fulfillment from that activity. Mindless scrolling, clicking and tapping has not proved to have a positive benefit in my life. I originally found it as a way for me to "stay connected" to people. What I realize now is that I default to my online presence as a substitute for having true connections because it is easier and less work.  If I decrease my active presence, I may have to actively reach out to people to be connected. 


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